You’ve heard it said that if life gives you lemons you should make lemonade. But this saying relies on the assumption that everyone is given something. To all those who weren’t given anything and still made something out of nothing, your strength is your beauty…Happy Women’s History Month.
They condition you to believe that the worst thing you could be is offended. They call you dramatic, over-reactor, and too sensitive. They teach you to shame criers and silence the angry. The cool kids are the ones with no reaction, the cynics, the indifferent, the unemotional. We are taught to become like that. Forget empathy, ignore pain – even when it’s your own, and whatever you do, don’t care. And while we are all so busy trying to be cold and emotionless it becomes easy take away our personhood since, are we even people if we don’t feel?
Loneliness is a terrifying ailment though not through the condition of not having someone to be around. Its symptoms are found in the feeling that you need to have someone to be around. They are in the fear that makes you tolerate less than you deserve, more than you can rightfully stand, all for the sake of the warmth beside you. They are in in the knowledge that your own company isn’t interesting enough, doesn’t fulfill you enough, can’t care for you enough. that knowledge which makes you hold on to another all the tighter because you can’t see how anybody could keep company with one you can’t bare to be alone with.
You search for the answer in someone else’s arms but you already know it. If you don’t deserve care then another’s time would be better spent elsewhere. And if you do deserve care then you should be first in line to provide as much of that care as you can. And both of those answers leave you alone sometimes. And that’s ok.
Listen. Is it weird that I want to be Willow Smith when I grow up? (taking into full consideration that none of us know who Willow really is and this whole Willow as unicorn fairy child / Jada as mother of the year bit could be the most devious and amazing marketing scheme ever)
I mean to say, if any of us was raised in a way that respected our authentic, constantly changing, powerful, magical selves would I be whipping my lopsided-ass fro around with as much utter disregard of the status quo and other’s opinions as this fierce young person seems to have? Or would that be ages ago for us, would we have gotten that out of the way in our pre-teens like Willow? Would we now be living and shining in the glory of our power today instead of collectively sweeping up all our little broken pieces and trying to fit them back into each other into something that feels useable? Would we still be reveling in the success of just functioning another day, getting out of bed another day, dragging our depressed and degraded masses into the world another day–or would we be capable of something more, something beyond our wildest dreams?
Or are we still actually capable of something more and maybe just got a late start? Just in case, I’m gonna start my day by reading some Pinkett-Smith & swinging this fro around.